Gone Mad

Ok so I think I'm losing it...I've gone mad. Here is a glimpse into my yesterday. The kids are cranky. Julia is cutting 4 teeth at once and has turned into my shadow. I swear she would crawl back inside my body if there was a way. And she's whining...a lot! I think Keira has a bug or has begun early teething much like Julia did. So I have Keira in her swing and Julia playing in the family room. Run to kitchen to make bottle...come down to find that Jules has climbed onto the coffee table and is sitting dead center watching tv. Time out. Lots of cranky coming my way. Now trying to feed Keira who is hungry but wont eat. Julia goes to kitchen. Call three times, then go on the hunt. I find her in the back yard...thank God for the fence. Must find a way to get the screen door fixed so we can lock that exit. Time out. Lots of cranky coming my way. Nap time...yippee! Whoops, not for long. Here comes the trash truck. Wakes kids. Dammit! Lots of cranky coming my way. Downstairs for lunch. Change Keira and turn around to find that Jules has gone into the kitchen, climbed onto the table, collected all the placemats into a pile, sat on pile and started eating her snack.

Time out. Lots of cranky coming my way. Time to attempt feeding Keir again. Jules escapes to kitchen and 30 seconds later...choking/coughing sounds. Whirl around worried and find Julia holding bottle of dish soap. Dammit! Read label for poison control info and mentally kick self for forgetting to put soap away. Luckily only need to drink water to dilute soap. Skip ahead a couple hours...after Daddy got home, I took 45 minutes to get control of my mind again. Come downstairs and start unloading dishwasher. Man, it stinks down here. Jason takes Keir up for a diaper change...thank God. Need to call mom, looking for phone in family room where Julia is sitting on the couch watching Dora. She tells me "Ba, poop." Ahh so that's why it still stinks. Ok, Julia, let's go change your pants. Help her to get up, and that's when I see the puddle of poop on my couch. Oh man, what a day! Warn Jason about couch...ask for help getting that cleaned up...and rush Julia to bathtub. Pray for no more explosions. Stupid Mommy, stupid soap! Feed dinner to Julia and get her off to bed. Keira, too. Nope, she's up again. Try another feeding with very little success. Order take out. Veg in front of tv. Put Keira to bed. This time it works. Sleep.